So, you’ve made it through the maze of online dating, or you’ve met your cutie at a bar or through a friend (or perhaps a fabulous dating coach). You’ve breezed through coffee dates, the first big dinner date, maybe even the first sleepover. Your gut keeps telling you this is truly something special. You’re starting to feel head over heels, but you’re wondering: does he feel the same way? Believe it or not, there are plenty of subtle signs to tell if he’s in love with you. While dating can feel like a never-ending game, these little signs point to the end in sight. We’re counting down simple ways to be sure his heart is on lock.
In the beginning, it can seem cool to be “unavailable”. Playing hard to get is a game for two, but when the walls start to break down and the calendar opens up, it might just be a sign that he’s falling for you. Dating seriously is a major investment. It’s not about the money! Commitment requires compromising time and devoting energy, so if you’re on his speed dial for plans more often than not, things are heading in the right direction. Don’t sweat it if he doesn’t love to text, especially in the beginning. If he’s just not that into you, or you’re just not that into him, that’ll become clear pretty quickly. If he likes to talk on the phone, or if he likes to chat face-to-face in person, you’ll figure out the communication style that works best for you.
Sure, he might have impressed you with picking that fancy restaurant that everyone’s been trying to get into for months. It seemed like a few months ago, he would obsess over the perfect spot to try or the latest museum exhibit or gallery opening. Now, it seems what he looks most forward to is hanging on the couch, watching your favorite TV show on Netflix. This is nice, but what gives? Don’t worry! The excitement that kicks off a relationship can be smoke and mirrors. In order to find love, you want him to discover the real you. This mean that taking more time to hang out one-on-one, in a comfortable setting, means he’s ready to make you a part of his everyday life. This sign might feel like the relationship is losing steam, but trust me: Netflix and chill, when you’re heading towards a committed relationship, is an important bonding step.
Showing confidence is such an important part of attracting the person you want to be with forever. But you know what? The real-deal, falling-in-love moments happen when you are vulnerable with one another. Hey, it’s ok that watching a LifeTime movie might be all it takes for you to conjure up some deep emotions. It’s also okay if it takes him a little longer to open up about his emotions, and more serious conversation topics might not be initiated as easily. But when he opens up about the big stuff in his life? That, my dear, that might be L-O-V-E. While sharing and growing together is essential in a long-term relationship, pushing it is never the answer. Be patient, be kind, ask questions, and give it time. This sort of thing can’t be rushed!
You’re hanging out all the time, you’re chatting during the day at work, he’s texting good night (and good morning) — you’ve really got this communication thing down! Another sure sign he is falling in love with you is that he can’t wait to talk and share about his day. If he got that promotion and you’re the first text, that’s a pretty big deal. He is in a big fight with his parents and can’t figure out how to deal, and he pings you for advice? He’s open, he trusts you, and he wants your advice. He wants you to be a part of his life, and he’s sending you all the right messages. Another reason he’s in love with you is when he’s bugging you for details about your day. He genuinely wants to know if your whiny coworker put a lid on it, or if you mom did indeed end up buying your sister that sweater, not because any of it is that important, but because it’s what’s going on with you. If he’s wondering what’s going on in your head, you’ve probably got him hooked.
This is a bright flashing light of a sign that he thinks about the future ahead. Meeting friends and family can be a scary step, but it also means that it’s time to take this growing relationship and put it to the test with the people who matter most. His mom will love you, don’t worry. When he wants you to meet his friends for the first time, don’t stress. You like him, and they will love you. Just waltz into the room with confidence and don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation. When dating becomes bigger than just the two of you, that’s one way to know it’s starting to get serious. If you met online or IRL, it can be really fun to expand your circle by combining friend groups. Maximize quality time with everyone you love by planning a wild Saturday night, a chill Sunday afternoon picnic, or a movie get-together with all of your friends. Who knows, you could even end up playing matchmaker for someone new! Who doesn’t love to double date?
Slow and steady wins the race. Looking at all the signs above, you’ve got a recipe for a successful relationship. How will you really know he loves you? Everything keeps getting better. You’ve graduated from small talk and sexy outfits to the big conversations about values, dreams and what you would like your life to look like in the future. . . and hey, probably a few sexy outfits. You find more you enjoy about each other, all the time. Sometimes even the most promising relationships can fizzle due to lack of interest. Make sure you make the cut by continuing to invest time, care and compassion in one another. This is the sweet spot – the inside jokes, the first overnight trip, maybe even the first fight and make up. Knowing what you’re made of as a couple can bring you so much closer together. The first year together can be full of high highs and low lows. When you really love each other, you make it through, even if and especially if it’s difficult. The more you get to know each other, the deeper your connection grows, and the more both of you get out of the relationship.
This one is the most obvious and the most important. It’s the most elusive, and it’s what you’re waiting for. Without a doubt, if he really, really loves, he’ll tell you so. It might not be easy for him, he might take his very sweet time, but trust me, if he loves you, he will say it. All that said, real-life love is not like the movies. Hate to break it to you, he’s not likely to declare his undying love for you in a field of wildflowers surrounded by your closest family and friends. I mean, he might, but that’d probably be weird, right? In my experience, that “I love you” moment can be wholly unexpected, when you’re doing the dishes or getting ready to leave the house for work. Just because it’s not the most dramatic thing in the world, doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly special. People put a lot of expectation on “I love you”, but what it really means is that something about the relationship really, really works. Not everyone likes to say “I love you,” either. Some people say it right away. It might be cliche, but it’s definitely true: love does kinda make the world go round. Hopefully some of those signs help you see the light. If it’s the right relationship, just wait. . . you never know what might be around the corner. Dating can definitely be tricky, but the payoff when you find that special someone is a feeling like none other. Here’s to falling in love!
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