Divorce rates in the United States are about 40 to 50 percent (American Psychological Association), which is about half. So basically 5 out of 10 partners divorce some time in their life. But in California the divorce care is 8 out of 1,000 people divorce, it takes about 360 days to process a divorce, and the filling fee is 395 dollars. (Inside Gov). Divorce rates vary due to three interrelated reasons: macro or societal, demographic, and micro or interpersonal. (434) Divorces can be caused by many different factors like the economy, military spouses, age of when the partners were married, if their parents divorced, social class between the two, and domestic violence. Domestic violence is when someone has violent or aggressive behavior within the home involving their partner. Abuse in the home and between partners is not good, it usually leads up to bigger things and/or the people around them getting hurt.
All states have no fault divorce laws so that neither partner needs to establish guilt or wrongdoing on the part of the other. Before the no fault divorce laws, the partner who initiated the divorce had to prove that the other was to blame for the collapse of the marriage because of adultery, desertion, or physical and mental cruelty. Couples can now simply give “irreconcilable difference” or “incompatibility” as a valid reason for divorce. (Benokraitis,434) There has been studies that show that economic hardships like jobless or health issues add to marital stress and increase the divorce risk. But with that being said it could also lead people to staying together because it would be a lot more expensive to fill the divorce itself, too expensive to live without the other, or they might lose health benefits and cannot afford health care themselves. In 2013, a large majority of Americans (68 percent) said that divorce is more acceptable then gambling (64 percent), having a baby outside of marriage (60 percent), gay or lesbian relations (59 percent), or abortion (42 percent). (Benokraitis, 435). Divorce is greater acceptance also because Americans emphasize their individual happiness over their family’s happiness or commitments.
Women and sometimes men go through domestic violence. There are three different kinds of domestic violent behavior, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. Each one of these are all tough and not a single one is wanted. All of these kinds of abuse are pretty self explanatory but lets go into some detail on them. Physical abuse is being threatened or trying to hurt a partner with some kind of force so it could be kicking, biting, hitting, chocking, slapping or beating. Sexual abuse taking part in a sex act when one does not consent to it. So in other words this could be called rape. Lastly, emotional abuse, this is very aggressive behavior that controls a partner. Usually this is started with emotional abuse and escalates to physical or sexual violence. The cycle of domestic violence usually follows this; Phase one: The tension-building phase, phase two: The acute battering incident, phase three: Calm (The honeymoon phase). In phase one there is minor battering going on, the person being abused usually tries to stay out of the way of the abuser. In phase two the abuser usually changes their personality in a snap. Some people who know the abuse is coming usually will try to make the abuser mad to get the abuse over with. Lastly in phase three the abuser begs the woman for forgiveness and promise that he/she will not do it again.
Domestic violence doesn’t just effect the partner that it being abused it also effects the children, if a partner is being abused more then likely the children are being abused too. Women usually don’t say when they are being domestically abused because just as when women tell people they were raped no one listens to them, the same goes to domestic violence. The partner will often times be able to come up with lies that when confronted they believe the partner. Often times the person suffering from domestic violence will stay with their partner because they are threatened with things like “if you leave me ill kill myself” or “I’ll find you once you leave me”, open threats and scared partners. The person is so in love with their partner that every time something happens they swear the person will change so they hold on to the hope and onto that person. People also stay with the person who is domestically abusing them because they don’t know how to leave them, they constantly tell the partner that every time will be the last time and that they won’t do it again. They will also stay with the person who is abusing them because they have children with that person and it can either be due to a religious or own beliefs that the person won’t get a divorce.
But sometimes people do get away from the person domestically abusing them, and when they do get away it make their life so much better and they feel free and can finally be happy.
In all, divorce in today’s society is very acceptable compared to about 30 years ago. Domestic violence is typically not wanted and looked down on, so when someone is domestically abused they do not let people know for months to years later because they feel ashamed. Partners being abused will, usually have to go through threats and a lot of empty promises on how they will stop abusing them. Some partners do leave the abuser and their life is often saved because they are no longer depressed due to the abuse.