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Gender and Attraction

There is not much difference between what a man and woman in terms of what they attribute in their relationships. Some years ago, women were attracted to men who play the role of a financial provider and those who had social dominance; the women were also attracted to older men and did not put much emphasis on the looks but were more concerned with the status in the society. The level of status symbolized that he would be a good provider and a responsible head of the family. Even though in the present days women have gained financial empowerment, this value still seems to be true.

The men were not much interested in the status a woman held in the society but were instead attracted to their physical appearances which all lied in the eyes of the beholder and also varied inadequate. Even though such behaviors have changed, women still are keen about how they are treated, how they are provided for and the appearance of a man. Many women are still attracted to men who respect them, kind, and loyal, caring and honest men.

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In some instances, some women are more attracted to younger men and others are happy when dating men who are not very much financially empowerment. However, such relationships are faced with many challenges of lack of emotional stability and one partner may not be mature and hence the women go back looking for men who have the traditional values.

This information is very true since the percentage of women who are married to younger men is very low. Most of the men tend to be attracted to very beautiful women even though they may not have the same financial power and decide to marry them. They believe that they should play the role of providing for them, protecting tem and loving them. Women also want to be associated with powerful men in the society today just like in the past.

How Gender Affects Entering a Relationship

The social penetration theory explains how both relationships and friendships are formed. The friends start by sharing superficial information if they are comfortable with it; they move on to exchange more personal and deeper information. In the initial stages, the level of self disclosure is very high and so are the intimacy levels in relationships. Self disclosure level should be equal for both parties so that they are both comfortable. However, people from individualistic cultures tend to self disclose themselves more than those from collectivist cultures.

Women tend to have friendships that are intimate and are highly emotionally involved though with same sex friends and also shared their personal experiences unlike the men who mostly share work related experiences and leisure activities with their friends. This means that women tend to self disclose themselves more unlike the men. Most men are guided buy some norms that forbid them from such activities as it makes them look like dependent or vulnerable.

In cases of friendship, heterogeneous men are not expected to show any physical contact with other men like hugging like the women do. They are guided by a norm of heterosexual masculinity which emphasizes that masculine traits are related to power and control and thus they should avoid acting in such manner by avoiding a lot of emotional expression, self disclosure or physical contact in the same sexual relationships. Feminine traits are devalued to tenderness and vulnerability.

Relationship Satisfaction

Relationships are more complex and their success or failure is determined by various factors. Psychologists tend to believe that relationships have some economic bargains and couples attach a worth on both the material and non material resources they exchange with their partner. In some relationships, couples believe that they should both make equal monetary and non monetary contributions in terms of what they exchange with their partner. There are some who are very keen and make decisions about what they are gaining from their relationship and what the relationships cost them. They will keep relationships that have a positive outcome and walk out from those that have negative impacts. According to study, those couple who had a mentality of equality was the most satisfied but for those women who felt that there was inequality in their relationships, they engaged in extramarital affairs unlike the men who did not behave so.

Concealing important information from your partner makes them feel uncomfortable and it becomes difficult for them to adjust to you. Most importantly, it tends to increase conflicts between couples and there is mistrust between them. Partners should share secrets since it shows that you’re close and intimate with your partner.

Relationship satisfaction is also determined by the intimacy of a relationship; every partner should feel loved and should know that they are cared for in the relationship. They should understand each other’s emotions, wants and life situations and learn to always help one another in times of need. Married people should always learn to solve their problems together as it makes them feel happier unlike those couples who don’t have the proper problem solving skills. They prefer to change the topic f their problems to another one and avoid it which is very wrong as it makes them unhappy in their relationship.

People tend to have different ways of interpreting the behaviors of their partners which makes them either happy or unhappy. When a relationship faces a challenge the couple should not put the blame on their partners because it only makes things worse. They should strive to solve the problem and eliminate it rather than making it affect all other aspects of their relationship. Problems should be solved immediately and without the need of attributing other factors to it.

In some relationships, couples like to compare their progress with of others and if they feel that theirs is far much better, they tend to have higher levels of relationship satisfaction. This is again because the partners were more positive and optimistic about their future not like other couples who compare themselves and end up being envious. It’s because they see how happy other couples are yet they are in unhappy relationships and are more stressed when they encounter marriages with problems since they fear they will encounter worse marital problems.

The various attachment styles children have with their caregivers determines the success or failure of relationships they will get into as adults. Avoidant persons have no trust in their partners and hence they don’t have enough intimacy unlike the anxious persons who are very intimate because they totally trust their partners but are not convinced that they should get love in return. The securely attached couples however show the moderate intimacy levels since they did not fear rejection or felt distrusted.

Conclusion

From my point of view about the articles, they have worthy information regarding relationship and satisfaction. In relationships from the past, they failed to work due to various reasons but both emotional and financial investments are very crucial in any relationship. This is because nobody wants to invest their feelings where they are not reciprocated nor put their hearts where they are not equally valued. But most people are looking for partners who will value and respect their friendship.

References

  1. Hatfield, E. & Rapson, R.L.(1993). Love, sex, and intimacy: Their psychology, biology, and history. New York: HarperColliVZK.B ns.
  2. Duck, S.(1992). Human relationships (2nd ed.). London: Sage.
  3. Fehr, B.(1996). Friendship processes. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

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