Have you ever wondered why there are so many marriages in the United States that do not make it? These days, it seems like divorce is just a normal part of our society, sometimes even just a normal part of marriages. Studies show that divorce in the United States is at one of the highest rates today, and that almost half of marriages do not last (Ingraham). Divorce can be caused by many different things, and among these the main causes are lack of communication, infidelity, financial problems, addiction, or laziness.
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The lack of communication in a relationship is a sure way to increase issues down the road (Moore). Most of the lack of communication in a marriage results from a partner’s absence of active listening. “A lack of communication can lead to consistent negativity in interactions. Ineffective communication attempts tend to distress those involved, which can result in reciprocated negative exchanges and, eventually, a cycle can develop” says Frank Finchum (Moore). Lack of communication starts to build an unstable foundation for a marriage. Too much taking and not enough giving can lead to tension in marriages which can further lead to divorce. In the Journal of Family Issues, research showed that a lack of communication is a key factor in divorce (Moore).
Aside from lack of communication another key factor to divorce is infidelity. Research shows that in the course of a marriage, 60% of men and 40% of women will have relations outside of their marriage (Meyer). This infidelity causes trust issues and is one of the problems associated with divorce that is very hard to repair and is even seen by many as unforgivable. Cheating can come in many different forms and does not necessarily have to be a physical interaction (Reich). Cheating is a huge breach in trust and can cause many different emotions such as anger, rejection, or denial which can cause a person to lose their sanity and question a marriage (Meyer).
Financial issues also provide rising problems within a marriage. In most unsuccessful marriages it is found that partners have substantially different spending habits and that this hinders a marriage (Larson). Variations in spending habits could lead to disagreements which can then lead to bigger arguments. Statistics show us that among people filing bankruptcy, divorce is the number one cause. Financial issues create a stressful environment in a marriage and at times are not easy to resolve (Matthews). To avoid some financial issues it is better to control them right away. Living above ones’ means also causes a stressful environment which can lead to divorce (Larson). Budget planning and setting up a savings account are some good ways to prevent financial issues in a relationship.
Some other key factors in an unsuccessful marriage are addiction and substance abuse. Substance abuse causes a partner to shift their priorities and place their own needs and fixes over their family’s needs, which can place a heavy burden on the other partner creating an abundance of stress (Maggio). Also, addiction and substance abuse relates back to financial problems because rehab does not come cheap and many couples find themselves struggling for money. This inevitably causes a hardship on the marriage and in turn can lead to divorce as well (Maggio). Addiction comes in many different shapes and sizes and does not have to be drug or alcohol related. Substance abuse can wreck a marriage, but also can as well physically and emotionally harm the person doing the drug. Addiction can lead to emotional scars on partners within a marriage.
Laziness can occur in a marriage over time and can lead to escalating problems resulting in divorce as well. Some couples enter a marriage with false expectations of what they are actually getting into and from this they place blame onto the other partner right away without thinking objectively (Meyer). From this couples do not put effort toward trying to repair their marriage and just give up or quit. Also, a lot of couples are unaware of the hard work that needs to be put forth in a marriage to make it successful (Reich). Laziness shows lack of interest in a marriage and leads to further problems. Routines, if not used properly, can at times lead to boredom which can lead to laziness in a relationship. This laziness can then lead to two partners becoming distant from one another (Meyer).
There are many factors that lead to the failing of a marriage. A lack of communication can arise, infidelity can take place, arguments about financial struggles can break out, addiction can take a toll on the relationship, or a couple could even “lose their spark”. However, there are also many ways to fix these problems or in some cases, even prevent them. By decreasing these factors, or even getting rid of them all together, there is no telling what effect this could have on the divorce rate in the United States.
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