Does Suffering make us Stronger and Lead to Success?
I feel there are several ways which one can answer this question. I think that it truly does varies from person to person. Since each situation is unique and different, we cannot simply say that yes it leads to it or no it does not lead to it. Since we all take on hardships differently, we can also allow them to affect us differently as well. In my own opinion, struggles have personally make me more successful and also stronger as a person.
In “Do Our Kids Get Off Too Easy?” Alfie Kohn writes: “The conventional wisdom these days is that kids come by everything too easily — stickers, praise, A’s, trophies. It’s outrageous, we’re told, that all kids on the field may get a thanks-for-playing token, in contrast to the good old days, when recognition was reserved for the conquering heroes.” (Gonchar,2014). I feel this is a topic that isn’t quite touched upon enough in today’s society. It appears that parents are telling their children early on in life that they are the greatest and can be anything they want. These same parents are not telling their children that they need to work hard for what they desire in life, rather they are the best and should automatically receive it. In my opinion this is completely wrong and not true. That is unless you are wealthy, wealth can literally give a person anything they want, but this is not fair.
A reward becomes less in value if every participant receives one. Only those taking first, second, and third place should be awarded for their merits. The rest of the children should understand that they did not make the top three and accept their defeat with good sportsmanship. This will teach them to work harder next time for what they want.
Psychology today offered some proactive comments on just this very topic. Since this topic has a lot to do with willpower and how one thinks, I feel this information would be extremely beneficial. First off, the author Steve Taylor goes on to discuss psychological disorders. He brings in the example of soldiers with PTSD and a cancer patient who cannot sleep at night. He goes on to explain how these people have undergone some pretty tough situations in their lives and are currently suffering because of them. Not only do these problems occur, but they go on to affect other realms of their lives as well. They most likely cannot leave the home as often as they use to, cannot enjoy the same things they once did, and lost desire to continue on. These symptoms may last quite some time, but eventually they will overcome them. It may take days, weeks, months, or even years, but you cannot feel crappy forever. Once the person wakes out of this paralyzed state, they will realize a thing or two. They will certainly be stronger for; they have already been at their lowest lows. They cannot possibly feel any worse, and will gain the right attitude to move on (Steve Taylor, 2011).
I personally have gone through depression and anxiety. Both of which can be very terrifying and hopeless. When I first came to the United States, I was scared out of my mind. I thought that I would never be able to be successful and accepted defeat early on. I then realized that I am in control of my success and no one else. If I wanted to obtain my degree, I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself, and work extra harder. This has proven to be a very intelligent decision I have made.
As I explained in the beginning of this essay, some people respond to things differently. In my next article I have found evidence of this. A 24-year-old man committed suicide due to his mental problem. He was very fixated on his appearance which led him into a great depression. His parents could see he was facing many problems, but felt hopeless in this case. Although he was not extremely ugly, he felt it. Much like those facing eating disorders feel. No matter what anyone says to them, they believe what they want.
His disorder is titled dysmorphic disorder, which makes the eyes see flaws that are not even existing. Nathaniel was the boy’s name, and first started experiencing problems at the age of 11. He was hospitalized numerous times, and was taking several medications to help fix the problem, but with little success. His parents were both very supportive and complimented him numerous times a day. What he feared most was the impossibility of dating. He felt no girls were attracted to him, and no one ever would be. He was ashamed to leave the house, because he felt everyone was making fun of his looks (Eadicicco,2012).
This example above shows that not everyone receives success from suffering. For some people, the pain is too much to bear and the weakness takes over them. I feel there are several more examples of situations like this in our world. What we must remember, generally, one problem is not all that someone is facing. The world is complex, and we usually encounter bad things in pairs. Sometimes, we cannot simply take it anymore and give up. This is what happened in the above example. This poor boy felt so ugly and alone, despite all efforts to cure him, his mind took over. It’s unfortunate what happened, suicide is never an easy topic. Every time I think about it, I realize that it doesn’t take the pain away, only passes it on to someone else. This though it what keeps me going when I feel suicidal.
We have viewed two articles on how it can be successful and one opposing article alike. I think the last thing to focus on is how to be successful since it is dependent on you. Lifehack.com offers thirteen tips for success. The one I feel is most essential is never giving up. It’s amazing how much work and effort someone will put into something, until an aspect goes wrong. Then the person will completely give up on the entire thing over a single mistake. Some of the most successful people in life failed numerous times before getting it right. These people include Bill Gates, Einstein, and Oprah. These three are amongst the most successful, intelligent, and richest people in the world. Can you imagine what would have happened if they had given up when something did not go their way? Who knows where the world would be without their great efforts (Heissman,2015).
Another tip given, was to be a man of action. This means asking questions when unsure, and making certain that you’ve put fourth all efforts before giving up. I mean certainly, there are some things one will never be able to do. A man can never give birth. No matter how hard one tries, its simply impossible. But often times, we know we can do something, but put no action to it. This is when we cannot be successful (Heissman,2015).
So to answer this question, we must explore individual cases and not look at the topic in a broad sense. Although many of us can use our shortcomings to be successful, this is not the truth in every case. I hope that through my struggles, I can become everything I wish to be. I know that remaining strong is the only way to accomplish this.
Interviews
My first interview was with a friend I made at school. Her name is Jessica and I feel she can answer this question very well. When I asked her she said that yes, it can make one a stronger person. She said that before she started school, she lived a very difficult life. She had many problems in her family and a lot of them told her she would not make it through school. She is currently almost finished with school now and whenever times became hard she remembered those who did not believe in her, which encouraged her to continue on. She claimed it was never easy but she wanted to show off her degree.
The next person I interviewed was mike. He is 23 and a business major. He claimed that he agrees in both senses. That it is the individual person’s idea. He said that only if one wants to be successful they can. Whether the life is easy or hard, if you really want something you will do it.
