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It's What We Do with Time that Heals

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Growing up i m sure everyone has heard phrases like “give it time” or “it’ll get better with time” the question is does time really heal all wounds? English poet Geoffrey is credited for his well known aphorism in his work “Troilus and Criseyde” explaining how he thinks Time heals all wounds. Some can agree with this philosophy, others can oppose to it due to their experiences.The essence of chaucer’s argument that “time heals all wounds” is mistaken because by focusing on just leaving it to time he overlooks the deeper issue of what people need to do to “take time and shape it in order to do inner work”.

The hasty generalization that Time heals “All” wounds is deeply mistaken and ignores the fact that not all wounds can be healed with nothing other than time. In Grief Counselor David Fireman’s article “Does Time Heal All Wounds” he tells us how the philosophy of persuading one to hope ignoring ones feelings and letting time run its course cannot work. One needs to use time well, “in terms of healing wounds, then it is because we do something specific with and within it”. For example in Firemans article he explains how one of his patients brother had died in a hunting accident when he was eleven years old. His patient found a therapist who got in touch with his sadness and guilt. Later in life he went on to be a social worker. Through inner workings he was able to take his hurt and sadness and turn it into a positive energy towards helping others.Some may argue and say that after the death of a loved one, one can feel nothing. One day was enough grieving for them. This reaction is very normal.

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Grief counselor Russel Friedman says “In our immediate reaction to the death of someone important to us, its normal and natural at first to have a sense of numbness”. The human mind is use to a day to day routine so dealing with the loss of a loved one can make one not know how to react. Adapting and accepting the pain of reality is when one starts to heal. But one needs to be able to accept it. One must make the effort to accept their pain. “Even if we want to win the lottery, we still have to buy the ticket”. Professional counselor Worth Kilcrease tells us one needs to do something to make something happen. The misconstrued phrase “time heals all wounds’ over looks what one needs to do with their time in order for time to heal ones wounds. A better phrase would be it’s what we do with our time that heals. Getting help and working through one’s problems overtime then can make one stronger and often times even better. Psychotherapist David Richo says it best that “Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us”.


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