Love is a very strong word with a powerful meaning, and difficult to thoroughly explain. Love is different for everyone, it all depends on how and whom they grew up with, along with their environment. Sometimes, people in relationships just say “I love you” because their significant other said it. But do they mean it? Many tend to believe that if you are in love you will stay with that person forever. Although it may be true to some, not all relationships are healthy. There are advantages and disadvantages to being in a relationship. As the saying goes, “It could either make you or break you.”
IPV stands for intimate partner violence and it is also considered The Cycle of Violence. It starts at the honeymoon stage when the batterer often apologizes and tries to take the blame away from himself. Leading to tension building when the abuser feels like they are about to burst wide open and start a fight for no apparent reason. Then, comes conflict where everything just suddenly takes a plot twist, and a form of abuse only gets worse as time goes by. There are multiple types of abuse but the most common are physical, mental, verbal, and sexual. Psychological, financial religion, digital, and reproductive coercion are also a part of it. For example, back in 2009 artist, Chris Brown assaulted his girlfriend Rihanna. When she was being interviewed she said that it is not easy to leave an abusive relationship. She said that she felt bad about the situation because she did not want to be that role model to younger girls, stating that she did not want girls to stay in abusive relationships. Only about 5% of batterers change their behaviors. In the movie, The Mirror Has 2 Faces, Rose was being verbally abused by her mother. Her mother would always tell her things such as to wear makeup, eat healthier, dress more “girly” you could say. If someone would have told me things like that consistently, then I would be losing my confidence and putting myself down. I felt like her mother was always saying Rose was ugly without makeup. It makes you look at yourself differently.
The Mirror Has 2 Faces uses the five components of romantic love, which are: love at first sight, love conquers all, idealization of the loved one, notion of the one and only, and lastly, the indulgence of personal emotions. Love, at first sight, has happened to people, but it is not love nor passion, it is actually an attraction towards that specific person which could lead to a relationship. In some cases there are only particular candidates, meaning they only look for those who are similar to them. In this movie, the main character Rose had a love at first sight moment. How? Once Gregory was able to get a hold of Rose through the phone he told her where she could find him. She went to his university and when she got a glimpse of him she felt an attraction to him almost instantly. Later on in the movie, Gregory and Rose got married but only because they came to the understanding that they were going to be together since they shared similar interests. They weren’t doing it because of physical attraction but because they were both professors and had similar ways of teaching.
Love conquers all states that no matter what is going on in the world, global or social, as long as we have each other nothing else matters. I have to say it is beautiful to think that way but what are you going to do when there is no money, no job, and no one to help you. You two are now on your own. It will probably lead to arguing and more arguing, which then makes the “love” you guys had possibly disappear. Roses’ sister married a guy named Andrew but only for his money. Here her “love conquers all” had to do with money. As long as she had money nothing else mattered, but she forgot something important her happiness. Yes, she had a slight attraction to Andrew but she was in it for the money. When Rose got a makeover Andrew went to her and left her sister in the dust, meaning he didn’t care for her sister, and saw Rose because she looked different from her normal baggy sweaters and glasses and poofy hair. What is Rose’s sister going to do now? She has no money since Andrew left her.
Next, is the idealization of the loved one. Your soulmate is the person you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with. They are a reflection of ourselves and are here to help us emotionally. We should be venting to each other, not of each other. There should be no doubt that they want to be with you, and should not have to change. This is where Rose realized that when she got with Andrew he did not like her for who she was, he liked how she looked after she had a little makeover. That is not a soulmate. The soulmates in the movie were Gregory and Rose because they felt a connection and then he asked her to marry him. He felt that because they had very similar qualities and were comfortable with one another that they should spend every day together.
The notion of the one and only, number four of romantic love. Let’s say you are in a relationship, and your significant other sadly passes away. Are you going to say, “He was the only one for me, no one can replace him” or “there is another one out there for me”? When one creates an ideal picture of the person they are looking for, they do not see the person for who they truly are. They start thinking and only focus on their imperfections. They do not want to feel the type of pain and hurt they felt before, so they miss out on a lot of opportunities. We should not pay attention to somebody’s appearance. We should really get to know and find out why they like those specific things or why they do not. We have to focus on their personality, how kind, gentle, and humble one is. This is how Gregory and Rose fell in love with one another. They got to know each other very well and became what was like best friends. No one understood them besides one like the other. Gregory did not care what Rose looked like, he liked her for her, and she liked Gregory for him. Even though she was physically attracted to him, it was an advantage and a bonus for her.
Lastly, the indulgence of personal emotion has meaning right in it. Emotion, a sense of feeling and relationships with others. Many are guilty of not letting themselves feel emotion, they hide everything. It takes practice and a lot of time to build trust. You do not have to listen to what other people say, you’re afraid to be controlled by your emotions. If you keep letting your emotions stack up against one by one, you’ll reach your breaking point. Whether we know it or not, we all act differently and act inappropriately. When we express how we feel life gets easier, and problems get solved. Yes, sometimes require you to not say anything at all because of the situation. Venting helps make more room for positivity. As you open your mouth, you also open your heart and feel soothed. Gregory would hide his sex drive so nothing in their relationship would change. That morning that Rose told him she wanted sex he was stunned, he felt that intercourse would ruin what they had and that everything was going great the way it was.
Love is risky, but the pain is the best part of a relationship because it will eventually help you grow. We should avoid choosing a significant other who is deceptive, jealous, and or control. Your fear should not prevent you from experiencing the beautiful things life has to offer. Do not fall into the attraction of someone but rather fall in love with them because of who they are. It may feel good to have a stud next to you but if you don’t know much about them, it will not last. Relationships are not always going to be 100%. Look at other couples and see what you admire along with picking up the negatives. Being able to grow as a couple and individually is very healthy for both of you. Whether it is a myth or a manipulation, we all want to be in love.
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