To love is an uncontrollable event that comes alive without waiting for it. In the same way, love is born sometimes in an unexpected person who makes us lose our head. To love is almost to cease being our master and to give the other the power to ‘steal his heart’ practically.
When you give yourself permission to love someone – in spite of your most devastating experiences – you run the risk of suffering, but also of living, growing up and knowing yourself. In the end, if you love yourself, you know not only someone else, but you also recognize yourself in the other.
Falling in love is a complex brain process that activates 12 areas that claim to be one. This process causes the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, oxytocin and adrenaline; They are actually the ‘culprits’ to fall in love.
When falling in love, it is necessary to be close to each other. You demand with all your strength that what you feel is reciprocal, and you are afraid of being rejected and suffering because of this unshared affection.
The problem is that this person has caught your attention, and almost you can only think of it, because you want it in your life, because for you, it’s unique and special. Yes, falling in love is a little irrational, it’s like being angry and not knowing what or being afraid of a simple and beautiful butterfly.
But this is only the beginning of the trip, because in the end, you want to be loved; and that if it requires effort and the abandonment of total selfishness.
You have fallen in love and you are mutual, you feel the most special and blessed person in the world; but now you want to go to another level and you are ready to do everything possible to be with that person.
But there are different types of love. Erich Fromm in his book The Art of Amarexplica: ‘The love of children follows the principle:’ I love because they love me ‘. Mature love obeys at the beginning: ‘They love me because I love.’ An immature love says, ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says, ‘I need you because I love you’
The love worthy of feeling is the one that guarantees that you will be able to overcome the most complicated situations of life. You need the love of an adult, in which you know what you need and ask for. it just gives you the power to beat you every day.
It is possible that discovering what you love and responding to in the same way makes you want to start a relationship with that special person.
This is the moment when the challenge begins. Do you want to be with him because you like him or you are not alone? If it comes first, great! But accompanying someone to relieve your loneliness can be one of the worst mistakes you can make.
The reason is that no one – no matter how much they love and love him – does this loneliness. The root of loneliness that is not filled with love lies in the emotional void that the person has been carrying since childhood.
Well, when you are with your love, you feel full; However, a problem and the distance that accompanies it are sufficient. The person who accompanies someone to fill a void feels the urgent need for attention, feels incomplete, unhappy. It is that you need it to not feel uncomfortable; It’s something like an obsession that is only calm if that person is at your side.
At first, it seems simple, but for those who suffer, it is a bitter drink. One option is to spend time with you, do not be afraid to meet you. Use this time between the end of a relationship to heal, to understand why things happened as they were between your ex and you.
If you have a romantic relationship, try to control that desire to be with each other and spend time with yourself. If you can, start a psychological therapy to discover why you can not cope with loneliness, which is not crucial in you, so you can not cope with loneliness.
When you can heal these wounds, when you manage to love yourself at a time when you are not afraid to discover them, you are much more willing to love others unconditionally.
You love, they love you and you feel happy and able to conquer the world. Then you decide that you want to join this special person.
But it is because over time you understand that it is not enough to love and to be loved. After a while you will discover that you have become so accustomed to living with this person that you go into a state of drowsiness. You do not feel vibrated when you see it. Some of the less favorable aspects make you want to run away; and finally, you would not mind being away for a few days from this person who, just a few years ago, would not tolerate staying away from you for 3 days.
The fact is that if you give more importance to the monotony and do not worry about your relationship, you open the way to serious mistakes that will cost you dearly. And it happens that you realize your failures when it will be too late to let them take the sun.
That’s why, in order not to die for the love of a couple and to be as alive and active as at the beginning of the marriage, it is important that they listen to you carefully. They must be rid of their selfishness, be ready to fight, to fall in love every day, to have details with the couple, to let them know that, despite the years, they still love them as much as at the beginning.
You can hear everything you think, but it’s true: love is like a plant that needs to be maintained daily, protected from the sun and watered according to your needs. In addition, you need fertilizer and nutrients to thrive and grow. When you perform these tasks with determination, you are guaranteed an eternal love that will give you the greatest satisfaction in your life.
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