During reading the list, keep in mind that all item you read on the list, however insignificant it may seem, is a reason that you are worthy of respect and love. Give yourself the gift of time. Do not feel guilty for spending time thinking and reflecting on yourself and your own life. It is important to give yourself the time and permission to love yourself. You probably notice that by doing so you are better able to spend quality time helping others.
Celebrate and reward yourself. This is the fun part of loving yourself: reward yourself! If you have a significant achievement, celebrate it with a good dinner at your favorite elegant restaurant. Think about all the hard work you do every day and find a reason to reward yourself with something nice. Buy that new book or video game you want. Take a long shower or bubble bath or get a massage. Make a plan to deal with setbacks or negativity. Consider the factors that tend to deviate from your current path of self-esteem and decide how to deal with them. Keep in mind that you cannot control the words and actions of others, but you can control your responses and reactions. You might notice that the negative comments of a particular person, such as your mother or your boss, lead you towards a spiral of negativity. If this happens frequently, try to identify the reason. Decide how you will deal with the negative thoughts you have. You may need to take time out to meditate or breathe. Recognize your feelings and rethink your negative reaction with positive reminders of your self-esteem. Visit a therapist. Exploring negative thoughts and identifying the triggers for your emotions can cause feelings or memories of your past that are difficult to deal with. A therapist with experience in treating painful pasts can help you navigate through the recovery experience without reliving painful experiences. A therapist’s office can be an excellent place to learn to manage your negative thoughts productively and realize your positive qualities.
Repeat positive affirmations every day. Explore yourself and the things around your life. Although it may seem difficult, there will be many positive things. Choose the things or actions that make you feel good and repeat them every day like a mantra. That may seem complicated or cheesy at first, but the habit will make positive thoughts deepen and you will begin to believe in them, even if you don’t do it at first. A good positive affirmation to promote self-esteem is the following: ‘I am a full and dignified person, and I respect, trust and love myself.’ If you discover that the statements do not help you alone, go to a therapist and seek a multi-level treatment that also includes other approaches. Do things that make you feel good. Think about feeling good physically, emotionally and spiritually. Do what is necessary to feel good in several ways, which may require exercise, meditation and the use of a positivity diary. Find a routine that feels good and follow it. Spend time alone doing activities that you like or have a fun outing with yourself like going out to the movies or eating, whether it’s a pizza or your favorite dessert. Do not forget to approve time alone and use it for your own pleasure. Reflect on the effects of practicing self-love. When you spend time loving and rewarding yourself, you will probably see the benefits in other areas of your life. See if you have more energy or if you can be more present with others. You may begin to feel that you have more control over the decisions you make and your life. Practice the meditation of love and kindness Understand the meditation of love and kindness. This is a form that meditation that improves your feelings of kindness to you and others. It can give you the tools you need to be able to love yourself. Recognize the principles of love and kindness meditation. This meditation consists of loving without imposing expectations or conditions. It encourages you to love without judging (either you or others). Judging ourselves or others generally causes misery in relationships with others or with our own mind. Learning to love without judging consists of learning to love selflessly.
Breath deeply. Start breathing slowly and deeply. Sit comfortably in a chair and let your chest fill completely with air, expanding from your diaphragm. Then exhale slowly and completely. Support yourself with positive affirmations. As you continue with your breathing exercise, start repeating the following statements: I can achieve my dreams and live with happiness and peace. I can love others with all my heart. I wish that I and my family be protected from harm. I want a life of health for me, my family and my friends. I can learn to forgive myself and others. Identify the negative responses you have to positive affirmations. If you have negative thoughts while repeating these statements, think about who provokes those thoughts. Identify the people for whom it is difficult for you to feel unconditional love. Repeat the statements while thinking about those people. Think of someone for whom you have positive feelings. Repeat the statements, having that person in your mind as you do.
Think of somebody for whom you have no specific feelings.Repeat the statements, keeping that person in mind. Let the positivity of the statements fill you completely. Repeat the statements without thinking of anyone in particular. Focus on the positivity of the statements. Let positive feelings fill you completely and send that positivity from inside your body to the entire world.
Repeat the final love mantra. Once you have spread the feelings of positivity everywhere, repeat the following mantra: ‘All human beings feel joy, happiness, and health.’ Repeat this statement five times while you feel the words resonate in your body and extend it to the entire universe. Understand self-love Know the risks of lack of self-love. A lack of self-love can make you make bad decisions. Usually, a lack of self-love equals a lack of self-esteem that leads to conscious or unconscious self-sabotage and prevents people from defending their own basic needs. Lack of self-love can lead to harmful dependence on others to obtain their validation. Relying on others for validation often leads people to set aside their own needs to obtain the approval of others. Lack of self-love can also impede progress and emotional healing. One study showed that people who blame and ignore themselves have worse results in psychotherapy.
Recognize the importance of childhood experiences to love yourself. Relations between parents and children have permanent effects on character development. Children who did not meet their physical, emotional and mental needs may have lasting problems with low self-esteem. Negative messages received in childhood (particularly recurring messages) often remain in the person’s mind and influence their self-perception later in life. For example, a child who is told that he is ‘bored’ will probably think he is when he is an adult, even if there is evidence to the contrary (such as be nice to others and making people laugh or living an interesting lifestyle or having many friends).
