Adolph and Jose are a gay couple. They have been in a relationship for 3 years. They didn’t tell about their untraditional sex orientation either their parents nor their friends. Until this July they kept their homosexual relationship in a secret. But some time ago they decided to go to America to register their relationship officially by getting married. First of all, they went to their parents to tell about their intentions. Jose’s parents treated their son’s orientation and decision tolerantly. But when the couple came to Adolph’s family and told them, that they are going to marry each other in a few days, the family was categorically against this relationship, not even talking about the marriage. It was his father, who refused to bless their couple. Due to the radically patriarchal system in their household, the same decision was taken by the whole family. Finally, after having a conversation tet-a-tet with his father, Adolph was able to persuade his father to go for a session of the psychologist together with him.
Nowadays same-sex relations have become one of the most discussed issues. The problem of same-sex marriages and the right to adopt children for the same-sex couples stays one of the most crucial issues. Same-sex relations have been discussed by different NGOs for many years, but still, we can note an increasing level of homophobia throughout the world. Directly from their childhood, most people were taught, that in accordance with their religious and ethical beliefs any sexual or love relations must be established between heterosexual partners only. According to these beliefs, any same-sex or LGBT relationship is considered to be something inappropriate or even a mortal sin. As a result, the society has formed corresponding values and behavior towards LGBT group members. That is the way I was raised by my parents. That’s why it could be hard for me to come up with an optimal treatment for the problem. Sometimes personal beliefs of a therapist could even worsen the situation. Even though the values are bases of our society, to provide a better solution for the problem of a client, a therapist should always discard his own values and beliefs. But is there a possibility for a person to overcome or change his values and beliefs?
If we go back to the strained relations between Adolph and his father and deepen in the root of their problem, we could notice, that the cause of their disagreement is the values of his father. His father was raised in accordance with the fact, that all men should form love and sex relations with a heterosexual partner only. Exactly as I was. As a result, as a therapist, I could simply take the side of his father and try to ensure Adolph, that his relations with Jose should be broken. But this solution would be incorrect from the ethical part of a therapist’s work. Firstly, because of the fact, that a therapist must be clear minded. Then, we shouldn’t forget, that Adolph turned to our clinic with the request to convince his father to give him a blessing for his marriage. Thus, we can state, that to help Adolph and change his father’s mind, a therapist has to overcome his own values and even more – to fight with his inner problem, hence a new problem arises. And this time it’s a personal inner psychological problem of the therapist. At some point, it might be even helpful for solving the inner problem of Adolph’s father. The inner psychological problems are much more difficult to solve with the help of a therapist, using an external observation method, because they are the deepest ones and it’s sometimes even hard to share them. But if a therapist has the same problem, he could apply it to himself, using a self-observation method. It could be combined with the genetic method to deepen inside his own mind and find a proper solution much easier if the roots of a problem are the same. The combination of these methods is a first practice that could be used.
For solving a psychological problem, we have to use a proper practice. Every client needs a special approach. If we want to apply knowledge of psychology in practice, it is important to know the whole range of special psychological methods. The usage of specific methods and compliance with specific rules and regulations could provide us with a reliable knowledge. Moreover, these rules and methods can’t be selected spontaneously. They should be dictated by the peculiarities of a psychological phenomenon, that is being studied. In our essay, we will refer to some of those methods to solve the problem of Adolph and his father.
The first practice was already provided. The second one is more drastic and radical than the first one. The instillation method is the psychological process by which one person establish thoughts in a person’s mind or guides the feelings and behavior of another. It’s a direct or indirect communicative (verbal and sometimes emotional) act of inserting formulas, opinions, and positions into the partner’s mind without his conscious control. The main difference between instillation and reasonable justification is an indifference to logic and rationale: the main goal of instillation is to form a vision or desired state, and no matter how. Another difference between them is that the responses to the instillation are automatic, involuntary and do not involve any conscious volitional effort. During the instillation it all happens by itself. So we could refer to Adolph’s father with this method to directly change his mind towards Adolph’s relationship and marriage with Jose. Most effectively it could be reached in a completely hypnotic state. But we could also somehow change his values with the help of instillation method in the conscious state with the help of different manipulating methodic. We could instill the new values towards the same-sex relationship into his father’s mind, exactly in the same way as the previous ones have been instilled to his mind directly from the childhood.
To conclude with, let’s recall the story of Moisey who led the Jews through the desert for 40 years. It takes more than 40 years to change the values, believes and the way of thinking of a nation. No matter, how many times the issue of same-sex relationship would be discussed, we won’t change people’s mind in the nearest centuries. We could use different psychological methods to change them, but it would only change minds of several individuals. It applies not only to the issue of LGBT rights but to people’s values and beliefs in general. The conflict of values and beliefs will always exist when we are talking about the work of a therapist. And if you are not sure, that you are strong enough to overcome your own values, it’s better to consider referring the client to another therapist, not to destroy their lives.
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