What is it that attracts one person to another? In fear of being labeled shallow by society, most people would answer with things such as humor or kindness. However, a person does not walk up to another individual and ask him or her for his or her number because they think they are funny. The initial attraction to another person is purely physical. Does that first sense of attraction keep a relationship going? It can surely spark something but ask any person in a successful, long-term marriage and they will tell you that with time, outer beauty fades. Although different, both inner and outer beauty play a key role in any relationship.
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The inner beauty of a person can be defined in many ways. It can be an individual’s certain characteristics, unique quirks in his or her personality, or his or her passion about something they adore. Learning to love someone for something deeper than his or her outward appearance speaks volumes on a person’s own character. Often times people lose sight of the importance of inner beauty. When society believes the “deception that physical beauty is to be esteemed above beauty of heart”, it can often times leave individuals feeling incompetent (DeMoss). Inner beauty is what lasts into old age. Good skin wrinkles and teeth fall out; a kind heart lasts a lifetime. In a relationship, personality, sense of humor, and common goals are what transform the bond from something physical into something intellectual. People with the same mindset grow together effortlessly and that is not because they both have great hair or are in shape. To have a common ground to stand on that is supported by something other than outer beauty, which is not immune to change, brings a sense of security to those involved in the relationship. Loving someone for who they are and not what they look like elevates the dynamics of the connection.
Similarly, physical beauty can be interpreted in many ways. It can be a person’s physique, her demeanor, or the symmetry in his face. It is important to note that while none of these traits are destined to last a lifetime; it is “a [persons] physical aspect that often catches the eye” (BR Admin). If there is no passion, no attraction then there is not going to be a desire to be involved in a monogamous relationship. Anyone in a relationship would most likely desire both of the following; to be completely infatuated with his or her partner and to have the adoration reciprocated. When outer beauty is considered, it is easy to see why people love the way that they do. People love the good skin, nice muscles, and great teeth of a person initially. It’s the way that someone dresses or the way that they smell and smile that is attractive, and it is these trivial things that draw people to one another. When in a relationship, it is important for many to roll over in the morning and be in awe of the person that they are with. As much as society would like to claim that it does not start with physical attraction, it does. Being drawn to someone, initially, for his or her appearance is basic human nature. Individuals should not feel a sense of shame or superficiality for being interested in another person for their looks.
In any partnership, the key to success involves a combination of passion, similar interests, and physical attraction. What is interesting to realize is that in many cases, an adoration of one’s character and essence can spark a physical attraction. This is evident in instances where one person in a relationship exceeds society’s standards of beauty while the other is merely average on the same scale. This begs the question; how could it be so that the two could be seemingly equally in adoration of one another? The answer is that the inner beauty of each individual far surpasses any basic ideal of outer attractiveness that is thrust upon one by society. Likewise, it is easy to see and admire those seemingly perfect couples that appear to be destined for one another. Those individuals, in many cases, were brought together by their physical attraction to each other as with any relationship, and will last in a relationship because they realize that while outwardly beautiful, that will not carry into old age.
So, which perception of beauty comes out on top when the age-old question of inner beauty versus outer beauty is posed? To say either or is more prevalent than the other in the totality of a relationship is unfair. To start a relationship, outer beauty is the source of importance. To keep a relationship going, inner beauty wins. In any case, both are needed for the success of any bond. They play hand in hand with one another and contribute equally to the positivity of a connection. There must be an attraction to the entirety of an individual to ensure that the bond flourishes. Not only are both perceptions of beauty important for the whole of the relationship, but for the individual feeling the effects as well. To have a healthy, loving relationship requires that each person feel safe, loved, and appreciated above all else. The things that play into these factors are of course none other than the appreciation one partner has for the other’s holistic beauty. When an individual can be labeled as beautiful, it sticks forever. Surely the outer appearance will change but the heart and soul of a person will exist for a lifetime.
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