When a teenager speaks about a heartbreak society automatically sees the teen speaking from a relationship point of view. Respect, trust, and honesty are the three main components I believe a relationship should sustain.
My childhood was all a kid could ever desire de to my father’s presence and bond that strongly connected us. As a barrier of dishonesty started forming our bond started to shift apart. I no longer was a daddy’s girl and it started to feel like a cold world. I was going through a heartbreak, my father had left and I didn’t understand why. Pushing myself to stay up and be strong mentally and physically, as he had thought me was the outcome of the phenomenal young women I am today. Being the only child up to the age of 10 was amazing. I spent my days with my father afterschool, doing homework together, and doing work around the house since my mother had a night job at the time. Everything I learned was from my father. I wanted to be like him book smart, street smart, and not afraid of anything. My father challenged me everyday we spent together, he believed in me and always knew I could take the extra step to become even better. My father affected me in various ways. My attitude, my personality and my way of thinking. In the society I am part of attitude and the way you carry yourself are very important. The shy ones don’t get noticed and I have to make sure I get noticed because that’s how my father taught me. He always told me, “make sure people know who you are its important, but its also important they know you for the good and not the bad”. Therefore my father’s presence turned me into the confident young woman I am today.
My father also taught me that respect, trust, and honesty were very important qualities to hold in a relationship and so we did to keep our bond strong. I respected my father’s decisions and opinion and he also respected my ideas. We trusted each other, I could tell my father anything and not be judged, in fact he supported all of my insane ideas. Honesty was key, my father kept it real with me never sugar coated anything and that’s why at such a young age I knew many things. My father would always tell me, “ I must prepare you for what’s out there, because one day I wont be with you”. In my thoughts I always said, “ my father will never leave me he only says that if one day god takes him from me”. But, the day came, the day that I got heart broken, the day that it all happened. My father and mother started having problems in their relationship and so my father decided to remove himself from the situation. My father left the house and separated himself from my mother but also separated himself from my sister who is 10 and from, “daddy’s girl” who was I at one point. A divorce doesn’t do well in any household, especially if kids are in the picture.
My father separating from my mother wasn’t the issue I understood that if love wasn’t in the picture there no longer was a purpose of being together. The issue that caused our bond to slowly shift away was my father’s actions and way of handling the situation. Our father had lied to us he broke our honesty code. It’s like the trust went down the drain. In October of 2016 it will be a year that my dad left us. A year of no communication. A year that I have lived without knowing if my father is okay, if he’s had meals and if his needs are being fulfilled. When the situation first came about, I grew hate towards him even though I knew it wasn’t the right thing. I didn’t feel the same way towards him; he had lied to my sister and hurt her. I had to live with my sister asking me, “So when’s daddy coming home, he said he would be back in three months”. I felt like all that time went down the drain because he had lied. Within the year I have let go of that hate and started to appreciate him for his time. The love came back, and I feel better with myself. I didn’t hate him I hated his actions. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from them, and I hope my father learned. We miss him, but all we can do is pray that he’s doing good and just knows that we will forever appreciate all the time he spent and put into us.
My mother is doing a great job with us. My sister is now in the 5th grade, and I am a freshmen at Monroe College majoring in Criminal Justice. My mother is our foundation she supports us with all our ideas. This situation made my mom realize who she really was and all the things she was capable of doing. I certainly know that if my father was still in the picture he would be proud of both my mother and his beautiful daughters. Therefore not all heartbreaks have bad outcomes. My father’s distance away from me made me a better person. I have learned to appreciate everybody and their presence in my life, because what I learn from them can help me with making wise decisionthroughout my future. Communication is key and always set high standards in relationships, because what you put into them is what you will get out of them.
