There was once a time where the Middle East was as cold as a freezer on Earth and Antarctica was a hot microwave. There was a wizard that was in control of the climate of the earth because he did a spell that granted him control over the weather. He was the most powerful mortal on the Earth, and everyone feared him. One day, he made a created a plague that quickly spread to many civilizations, the plague made it so that anyone infected with the plague would become a zombie and serve the wizard when they die, also, it made it so anyone infected could not reproduce and have any offspring. This plague spread through people touching jewels and gold. He wanted these zombie servants because he wanted to build a great weapon so he could kill all the gods and become the ruler of the universe, instead of just being in control of the weather. A few decades later, all civilizations other than the ones in Middle East and Antarctica had perished and had become zombie slaves to the wizard, this is because these two civilizations were the smartest in the world. The wizard kept trying to get the remaining people to fall to his plague, but they kept resisting and stayed away from touching any jewels and gold, even the kings of these two civilizations hadn’t touched any of their jewel covered or golden possessions.
One day, the wizard covered gold bars with chocolate and said, “People of the world, you might be feeling hungry and have a shortage of food because you can’t trade with anyone else because they’re all dead. Don’t worry though, I have decided to have grace and provide you with some chocolate bars.”
But the people of the Middle East and Antarctica said, “That looks awfully like a gold bar to us.” So, the wizard went back to his lair to think of a new way to infect the Middle Eastern people and the people from Antarctica. It took him a few hours to come up with a new plan, but he finally found a plan that would surely get the remaining people to submit to him. After he was finished writing the finishing touches to his masterplan, he went to sleep laughing and thinking of his brilliant idea that would surely get the Middle Eastern people and the people of Antarctica.
The next day, the wizard made a great fire in a glass box that could be turned on by pressing a golden button that he covered in green paint for the people of the Middle East so that they could have a heat source. For the people of Antarctica, he created a great fan that could be turned on by also pressing a golden button covered in green paint so that they could have a source of air cooling.
When he approached the people of the Middle East, the people said, “Turn the fire on.” When he turned the fire though, the heat of the fire had melted the green paint that covered the golden button, and the gold was exposed. After he got exposed by the people of the Middle East, he went back to his lair, but he forgot to turn off his fire. Because he forgot to turn off his fire, the weather in the Middle East remained hot because of the fire. His grand plan was as disastrous as the Titanic and Barcelona’s 18/19 Champions League campaign. In his lair, he got his great fan ready for the next day when he would confront the people of Antarctica.
The next day, he confronted the people of Antarctica, but the people started laughing. Ignoring the laughs, he said to the people of Antarctica, “Behold, this great fan will make your land colder than liquid nitrogen! The only thing you need to do is just press this green button like so.” When he was about to turn on the fan, he realized that the more than 100 degrees Celsius temperature of Antarctica had melted the green paint covering the gold button.
When the people of Antarctica saw that the wizard had realized that his plan failed, they said, “Well, well, well, looks like you’ve realized that you have been exposed and embarrassed, we can see that the button is made of gold.” The wizard tried to run away leaving his great fan on because at that moment his brain went completely blank. Since he forgot to turn off his fan, Antarctica was now a giant freezer. His attempt to bail failed because he tripped on a piece of ice in Antarctica and the people were able to catch him. After he was caught, he was put in a prison and was forced to make a great horn so that the people of Antarctica could wake up the gods from their slumber.
After the wizard was finished making the horn, the people journeyed to Mount Olympus and climbed to the top with the wizard in a cage. At the top, the people woke the gods up with the wizard’s great horn. Following the waking of the gods, the gods said, “We will grant one wish for the wizard and one for you the people of Antarctica’. The wizards wish was to keep his fire and fan permanently turned on in the Middle East and Antarctica, and that is why. For the people of Antarctica, they wished for the wizard to be banished, so the gods sent the wizard to Mercury, and that is the reason why Mercury is freezing cold at night and scorching hot in the day. Lastly, the fan has been covered in snow overtime, and the fire has been covered by sand overtime.