The Secret Life of Penguins

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Part one:Once upon a time there was a penguin named Steve who decided that diving into the frozen cold ocean was not for him. He decided to use his talents for other things like writing and reading, but when he was reading twilight he suddenly felt a cold breath on his neck.

Suddenly he heard the screaming of his tribe. He felt a cold piece of ice touch is neck so he quickly whipped his flipper and smacked the heck out of the polar bear. He saw the crest on the polar bears fur and realized that his tribe was doomed. He quickly packed all of his stuff while trying to avoid the torn up bodies of his tribe, but then out of nowhere a gigantic polar bear burst out of nowhere and would’ve eaten Steve except Steve whipped slapped the polar bear and said “ya Yeeeeeeeeeeeet. ” He begged the other tribes to help fight back the Golden Bear rule but the other penguins were too cowardly to fight back. Steve dejected and his failure ran off to the north but then realized that polar bears came from the north. He decided to fight back himself and so he started teaching himself da wae.

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After 1 minute of meditating and training he told himself he was ready to fight the polar bears and take back his tribes land. He found a polar bear and decided to test his “awesome skills” The Polar bear said to the Steve “ why should I fight you? ” Steve was like “because I am better than you!” The polar bear returned the taunt with “polar bears are the best because they’re white!” Steve was so stunned by that comment he stayed there for several days. After that incident he never challenged that specific polar bear again. One day Steve met an old polar bear and decided to beat it up thinking it was a weak old dying polar bear but little did he know that that polar bear was a legend in fighting and he knew da wae. When he raised his flipper to slap the old polar bear he found that the polar bear had moved and was behind him.

The old polar bear said “ why are you messing with me youngling” and Steve returned “ because I need someone to test my da wae skills on” so the old polar bear said” why don’t you try it on me? But when Steve raised his flipper to strike he saw a blur of white and then suddenly he was on his back! The old polar bear said “my my my, you are really stupid and weak aren’t you? ” “let me teach you da wae” So for 10 long years(equivalent to about 10 human months) he trained under the watchful eye of his sensi. After he accomplished his training he decided to take on the Golden Bear empire that spanned from the north pole and down a straight line through the Rockies and the Andes all the way to the south pole and Antarctica. After he assembled an army of penguins and quickly trained them in da wae, he quickly rushed the place where his tribe once lived. He took the village at night silent as a whisper by cutting the throats of all the polar bears including the general.

The ground after the battle was so red it was called The Place of Many Deaths or The Blood Valley. Steve wanted to rush the capital of the Golden Bear empire but he couldn’t because he didn’t know where it was. He looked at all the maps he could find but no avail. Steve couldn’t find any trace of the Golden Bear capital. Steve also couldn’t find out where the Golden Bears came from. When he looked at a time line the Golden Bears weren’t mentioned and then suddenly they just popped up in the middle of history. He was a confused penguin and like all confused penguins he decided to look for a restaurant, maybe chili’s. He went to the land of his elders, THe Graveyard. He decided to go to the great library in The Graveyard but then he noticed that one of the igloos was not glowing like the others. He went over to it and found that it wasn’t made out of ice it was made out of an alien substance called dirt! He dug into the igloo to find a diary and a note. When he opened the note he read “My son, if you are reading this i will bet nine thousand dollars your dead but i play pokemon go everyday. Anyway, the book will contain all you need to become a pokemon trainer. It will teach you how to also be a professional hobo. I like minecraft. Lastly no swearing on my christian roblox server. ” This made steve scream out loud because he didn’t know his dad had a christian roblox sever and he had wanted to play on a christian roblox sevr since he was one. ! He was depressed and wandered off to be captured by the Golden bears. He stayed in the deepest parts of the Golden Bears dungeon and he had become immortal from learning da wae.

He soon was forgotten from memory and his story was only known by a select few. Those who knew told others that if you found Steve you could bring back a penguin rule to Antarctica, However nobody knows where he is because he left the revolution and he wandered off and nobody knows what happened to him. One day one of the penguins who knew who Steve was decided to hunt for any evidence of where Steve was. He legit a note to his moms and ran off. He soon came to a problem. He didn’t know where to start and he was behind a great wall. He decided to risk a visit to the barracks. He stole a steel penguin knife is like a sleeve on a penguin except it makes it like a blade. He slipped up the ladder leading up to the wall and silently cut the throats of the guards. He slipped out and ran as far as he could then put rubber guards on his penguin knives to protect them from rust. He slipped into the pacific ocean and swan to his cousins in south america, the galapagos penguins. He hoped they would help him or at least lend him supplies and shelter. To his dismay, when he got there he found that all that was left of the mighty Galapagos penguin civilization was a half burnt pole. He heard something crunch so the penguin slipped into the sand and peered through hs half-opened eyes. He saw a giant polar bear that he knew from bedtime stories. It was the legendary polar bear of old. He quickly saw him rip a tree trunk in half and then he ate…. A PENGUIN. Then Steve died from doing the tide-pod challenge. The end.

Part Two: While the pengwings (wait whaaaaaatttttttt) were off explorings they encountereds a drunk pengwings that had been a captives in the Goldens Bear empires and had been releaseds after he was drunk and he had no memorys of what had happends to him. He said “ hello, welcomes to Chili's” becauses he was drunk. He couldn’ts recalls anythings excepts that the Goldens Bear Empires had a weaknesss and that they couldn’ts say pengwngs so they couldn’ts warn any sentriess becauses all pengwings of old had cast a spell that if you couldn’ts say pengwings then you couldn’ts tell any body of them. So the pengwings doecideds to march to the capitals of the Goldens Bear Empires and they killeds all of the bears with. You guesseds it!! Tide pods (awkwards silences) any way movings onSo the pengwings took over then ate tide pods becauses they were stupids and wanteds to die.

Part Three: In the penguin socuety It Isn’t uncommon for you to see a gay penguIn to be kIcked out of the tribe and sent to wander off by themselves. But penguins are very proud creatures and will not be told what to do. So all the gay penguins all gathered up and formed their own community and all were gay and gay!! They even tried hatching their own egg by grabbing stones. That didn't work of course but what counts us that they tried. Anyway that's not important but it is funny. What's important us that they are kicked out of there trube and that they didn't go to Helms Deep and try to overthrow the king of rohan…. just kidding. Anyway they didn't go attack the Golden Bear Empire so they didn't do the tide pod challenge.

Also they’re the last penguins alice ann dddddddd they can’t reproduce. So R I P penguins. Buh Buh Bum Bummm. But there is a solution. At the tower of cures there is a magical power that can summon or create anything that the user wants. Great right? Except nobody knows where it is…… so never mind. R I P penguins anyway. Then suddenly a giant fireball flew out of nowhere and killed every living thing on earth. It split the earth in two with a great BOOM and the force ripped the moon, mars. Venus, mercury and every planet in the solar system. The sun itself blew a few hinges and now has a misshapen oval thing that looked like a three year old had squished it. Then a Deuslatexorbus enveloped the world and the universe got compressed to nothing. (Ok by now I have no clue what i’m saying either so the end.

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