Two star- crossed lovers, both alike in Verona, but nobody truly knows what killed them. Everyone knows they both killed themselves, but the main reason they died is much more complex. Romeo and Juliet fell in love with each other over the course of four days, only to die in the end. They made many decisions during those days that could have been changed, resulting in a better ending. Both, Romeo and Juliet, had parents that pretended to care and weren’t very involved in their lives. The way both of the characters parents behaved caused most of the problems the teens faced. Their friends did not help the situation either; the teens interacted with people that affected how they behaved. The external forces for the adolescents would include their parents and even their friends. Those external forces caused them to act differently throughout the play. Romeo and Juliet acted arrogantly due to external forces; resulting in their tragic deaths in the end.
Most people don’t realize the impact parents make on their kids. Kids grow up engaging in how their parents behave, which impacts who the child will become as an adult. There are four different styles of parenting: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved parenting. The authoritarian parents are very strict: they believe that kids should follow rules without any exception. A child with an authoritarian parent usually tends to follow rules most of the time, but they may develop poor self- esteem . The authoritative parent is like the authoritarian parent, but they are more lenient. The authoritative parent enforces rules and explains the reason behind that rule. This results in the child developing as a successful, happy, responsible, and good decision-making adult. Overall, this is parenting style would result in the best life for the child.
In contrast, the permissive parent and uninvolved are the opposite. The permissive parent sets rules but doesn’t enforce them. They believe that their child will learn best without interference from them. The uninvolved parenting style results in the worst outcome for the child. This parenting style demonstrates the child being individual. The parent doesn’t spend time with the child and rarely knows who they are with. This results in self-esteem issues, behavior problems, and a low happiness level. Romeo and Juliet both experience hardships with their parents. Romeo’s parents were never really around, while Juliet’s wanted to force her to do things; this portrays that both of their parents were described as uninvolved. Their parents also never knew where they were, or what was going on between them. Both Romeo and Juliet, were scared of telling their parents of their love; because they knew that their parents would not end the rivalry, even for their children’s sake. An explanation of why kids act out would be their parent’s influence.
To include, who people are friends with has a major impact on what choices that person makes. Science proved that teens make completely different decisions based on who’s around them. One quote from a study about friend impact states, ‘When adolescents are playing the game without their friends watching them, they don’t play it any differently than adults do,’ but in contrast, ‘Just knowing that your friends are watching you doubles the number of risks teenagers take.’ Peer pressure is given off by friends influencing their decisions. Romeo and Juliet are affected most by this because they are teens. With them being teens, it makes there brain more sensitive to impulses. Teens often feel made fun of if they don’t do what their friends expect them to do. Romeo and Juliet were both in positions where they had friends impacting the decisions they made. Romeo was friends with Mercutio and even his cousin Benvolio. On the other hand, Juliet only had one true friend, which was the nurse. They both made some irrational decisions because their friends encouraged them to do so. On the website,” Scholastic,” it states,” According to Dr. B. J. Casey from the Weill Medical College of Cornell University, teens are very quick and accurate in making judgments and decisions on their own and in situations where they have time to think. However, when they have to make decisions in the heat of the moment or in social situations, their decisions are often influenced by external factors like peers.’ Kids and teens at a young age don’t realize what is happening. They think that the only thing that matters is fitting into society and what society views as normal. Teens believe that if they participate in what everybody else thinks is right, it is right. This is why Romeo and Juliet ended up in a heartbreaking tragedy. They both let their friend’s advice get in the way of how they would truly respond to a situation. Romeo would have never met Juliet if his friends wouldn’t have talked him into it. Juliet would have never killed herself if the nurse would have agreed with her about the marriage. Friends have a bigger impact on people than they think.
Romeo’s parents cared about him, but didn’t truly know how to connect with him. On the other hand, his friends cared for him as well, but lead him in the wrong direction while trying to help with his love loss. During the play, Romeo’s parents were only involved in the beginning. This leads people to believe that his parents were portrayed as the uninvolved parents. The parenting style they used affected Romeo by him not having role models, and he was never shown what true loved looked like. On page 19, Montague states,” Black and portentous must this humor prove Unless good counsel may the cause remove.” This references his father looking for someone else to help his son. During the time of birth to age seven, kids are supposed to be nurtured and shown love. In the time period that Romeo and Juliet too place, mothers would not nurse their children and fathers would not spend any time with them.
Romeo was not nurtured as a kid which resulted in him having many emotions. He never felt loved during childhood, so he is desperate to find a girl to love him. In the first act of the play, Romeo states, ‘Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs.’ The day before he meets Juliet, he thinks that love is bad thing. This all concludes that he wasn’t nurtured as a child. He tries to do anything for Juliet because he wants to give her the love he never got as a child; even if that meant dying for her. Overall, this results in him falling in ‘love’ with Juliet; and the outcome of this is death. In similarity, his friends were not very helpful to him either. The friar, Benvolio, his cousin, and Mercutio, his friend, tempted him into going to the Capulet party to find a girl for him. They believed that if Romeo fell for another girl, then he would get over Rosaline. Mercutio suggested in scene four of act one,’ If love be rough with you, be rough with love.” Mercutio is suggesting that Romeo can cure himself of love by having sex. This is another example in Romeo’s life that shows him that love is not a serious thing. His friends are proposing that it is fine to use other girls to get over a heartbreak. Romeo’s friends also persuaded him to go to a Capulet party, knowing that if Romeo fell in love with a Capulet it would lead to trouble. What his friends didn’t know, was that it would lead Romeo to death of their friend in the long run.
Benvolio joked about Romeo having emotions early into the play. Romeo asks Benvolio,’ Dost thou not laugh?’ Benvolio replies with,’ No, coz, I rather weep.’ Benvolio does not think that men should show as much emotion as Romeo does. Romeo’s connects with Juliet because his friends don’t like his emotional side, but Juliet expresses a lot of emotion as well. People also consider Friar Lawrence as one of Romeo’s friends. The friar tries to show Romeo that he doesn’t know what true love is, but Romeo doesn’t listen. Romeo is trying to convince the friar to join his and Juliet’s hands in marriage; he does this by referring to when the friar told him to bury his love for Rosaline. The friar responds with,“ Not in a grave, To lay one in, another out to have. This evidence clarifies that Romeo wants to get rid of his heartache by marrying another girl. Friar Lawrence also foreshadows that something will happen to the two lovers, since they are rushing what they call love. Friar states, ‘Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast.” Romeo was too caught up in marrying his love, to evaluate his overall decision and what it would bring him over time. To close, Romeo died because he was lead to Juliet by lack of nurture and good friendships.
Juliet’s parents and friends did not support her decisions, causing her to rebel by marrying Romeo. Juliet was raised with parents who displayed an owning relationship. Her father would often refer to her mother as a possession. During act three, Lord Capulet states,“ How now, wife ?” and the Lady replies with,” Ay, sir, but she will none, she gives you thanks.”Juliet learns from this parenting style; after she gets married to Romeo she claims that he now owns her. Juliet voices to Paris,“ It may be so, for it is not mine own ‘ Although Paris thinks he owns her because her parents set up a marriage; Juliet says she is owned by Romeo. Because her parents imputed the idea of possession with marriage; she believes she is Romeo’s possession. It is inferred that Juliet killed herself after she realizes Romeo’s dead, because she thought that she would die with her ‘owner’. Her father wanted her to make her own decision about marriage, until he thought that love would heal her mourning for Tybalt. This is another example in the story that shows people trying to heal things with love.
The problem with that is she didn’t know Paris, and she didn’t want to tell her parents that she was already married. Juliet refused to marry Paris, which resulted in an angry confrontation with her dad. In act three, Lord Capulet states,’ An you be not, hang, beg, starve, die in the streets, For, by my soul, I’ll ne’er acknowledge thee, Nor what is mine shall never do thee good .’ Her father is willing to give up his relationship with his daughter over a marriage; displaying that he doesn’t care about her. This leads to rebellion through Juliet. Due to her father’s talk with her, she decides that she will do anything to be with Romeo. It is proven that uninvolved parenting leads to self-consciousness. Juliet demonstrates that claim in act three, ‘The tears have got small victory by that, For it was bad enough before their spite.” She believes that her because of her looks, she is not worthy of love. Throughout the story, the nurse would be considered her friend. The nurse if very close with Juliet, because she nursed her from birth. Therefore, Juliet goes to her when she needs trustworthy advice. During scene five of act three, the nurse loses Juliet’s trust by agreeing with her parents decision of marriage instead of hers. Juliet angrily states,“ O most wicked fiend! Is it more sin to wish me thus forsworn, OR to dispraise my lord with that same tongue Which she praised him with above compare So many thousand times? Go, counselor. Thou and my bosom henceforth shall be twain .” She continues on to say,“ I’ll to the friar to know his remedy. If all else fail, myself have power to die.” The cause of all of this started with her parents forcing her marriage, but was continued with the nurse losing Juliet’s trust. Juliet’s parents and friends were greatly consumed with what they wanted for her, instead of what she wanted for herself.
Others say, Romeo and Juliet lead themselves to their own death due to their teenage brains. This is possible because during adolescent years, the teenage brain is going through many changes. These changes heighten impulses. Since the impulses are heightened, it leads to teens doing crazy things. If this claim were true, then why did other teens in the story not have an ending like Romeo and Juliet. For instance, Mercutio showed a pure example of a teenage brain during those years; by his jokes and immature decisions. Mercutio states,’ Give me a case to put my visage in! A visor for a visor.–What care I.’ This quote is showing Mercutio’s undeveloped side. Even though Mercutio is the same age as Romeo and Juliet; he does not participate in everything Romeo and Juliet do. Furthermore, Mercutio does have the same maturity level, but he doesn’t have the same parents. One can infer, Mercutio had involved parents because he wasn’t desperate for love. At the beginning of the play, Romeo thought that love was a bad thing, but two days later he wants to get married. This explains how the teenage brain is unsure and can’t make decisions fast. His parents influenced him more by not showing him what true love is in the first place. External factors had a bigger impact on Romeo and Juliet then internal factors.
In conclusion, both the Capulets and Montagues weren’t willing to put down their feud to save Romeo and Juliet’s life. Romeo and Juliet’s parents thought that they knew what was best for their kids, but never asked them what they truly wanted. They were too caught up in trying to make sure the Capulets and the Montagues hated each other. Friend choices also had a major impact on the outcome of the story. Benvolio, Mercutio, Friar Lawrence, and the nurse all played a part in their death. Their friends supported irrational decisions and lost both of the lovers trust. Romeo and Juliet were both caught up in love at first sight to see the warnings that people gave them. Many signs pointed to an inefficient long term relationship. The two star- crossed lovers wanted to defy their parents and friends by getting married, but it lacked in a good ending. They both fell in love with each other because they liked feeling loved; lack of nurture and good friends as children, resulting in the death of both teens in the end.