The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly. – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Let’s start this with a question! What do you do when you feel alone? I don’t know what to do nor say. Today, I feel so alone, I feel so lonely that even though I’d love to communicate with other people, I push them away. The very reason why people think I’m arrogant, why no one wants to hang around with me, why no one would want to stay beside me for a long time. I feel that I don’t have any friends that I could lean on when I always have that urge to cry, I feel that I am worthless, that no one wanted to be with me. I feel so sad, so doomed, so lonely, so sick of all these thoughts in my minds. I don’t know what to do, There’s so many thoughts that comes in my mind.
There’s so many questions that I wanted to clarify but I don’t know where to find the answers. Answers that can be the drop of hope I need to go on with my deceitful life. A lot of people know me, a lot of people talk to me, a lot of people hang out with me before. But all of these are just mere memories of me, with other people. People that I can’t even recognize anymore. Yes, it all happened before. Now, I feel alone that I don’t know whom I should talk to, whom I should hang out with, whom I should be with, whom I should spend my spare time with. I just wanted one thing in my life, that is to be appreciated by them and to be treasured as an important person they met once in their life. I wish one day, what happened before won’t repeat in the future because I am tired of all these things. I wanted to be happy. I wanted this happiness to be genuine I wanted to be loved, A love that can last a lifetime, And also the love that makes sense. I don’t know how, I don’t know why.
How could I try? In myself, is it possible? All I want is for people to thank me for one simple reason, that I was a good influence that they became a good person because of me. Please help me deal with it. What am I supposed to do? I don’t know what I’m gonna do can I just let it be? Help me search for answers, ‘Cause I’m terrified! How could I’ve tried? So alone inside. Take this mountain weight. Take this ocean tears. Wipe all my tears away ’cause you are my tissue paper every day. I will make sure that I’m okay, So don’t pity me. I can take all these responsibilities. All you can do is to give your trust in me. Where can I find my value? When my all is given unto you. You know I’m in the stage of regretting, because I don’t know what I’m doing! Oh! Please be mindful that I am reliable but sometimes awful, especially to the things that are not helpful. For me and to other people it seems to be fearing that being alone is a sad feeling. Feeling that you are nobody, shame to lean on somebody even when it hurts, even when it’s hard, even when it’ll fall apart, I will still run into your side I should be more cynical and tell myself it’s not okay. I try my best to fight it say I hate you but I always stay.
Remember: The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.
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