Domestic Violence against Men Can Be a Serious Threat
Domestic violence against men is no laughing matter nor is it a recent phenomenon. In fact, many are still blinded by the existence of domestic violence against men or husband. Furthermore, the numbers of cases reported are increasing from 2010 ranging about 650 cases, 815 cases in 2011 and 930 cases in 2012. The numbers clearly shows a growing numbers of Malaysian men abused by their spouse.
Psychiatrist Dr Zuraidah Ahmad Sabki from University of Malaya worries that this issue might grew even more serious since normally abused women often had support from various organization established specifically to help women against domestic violence, these organization are more focus of woman, the problem is the men or husbands did not have the correct channel to get help from the abusive relationship. She also said that the social fabric of Malaysia which expect men to be the dominant gender in terms of physical and emotional, mean will feel extremely emasculated if anyone would know that they are being abused by their spouse, as a result they often shun away from reporting the abuse to the authorities. The husbands will not get the help that he needs and continue to suffer from the abuse. The husbands will often keep silent over that matter.
The fact that the numbers of abuse of husband is increasing, this would mean the country would have to deal with another kind of domestic violence which is equally as serious as woman abuse. It also affects the children of the troubled couple, children learn by observing their parents, if they witness the mother constantly abusing the father, the children will think that it is a normal thing to do and tends to grew up as abuser themselves. It will create an unending chain of violence and abuse. This actually happened in Malaysia not long ago, as reported in the Sun Daily newspaper, a battered husband goes by the alias of Sham told reporters that his wife’s violent streak is beginning to influence his three children, where they would continue beating Sham where their mother let off.
This is proven by the Children’s Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services in their article Impact of Domestic Violence on Children, the bureau said children exposed in a domestic violent environment tends to have more difficulties compare to their peer in the forms of behavior, social, and emotional problems, cognitive and attitudinal problems and lastly, long term problems. The children will be more aggressive, antisocial and anxious. They are more prone to high level of anger, hostile, oppositional behavior, and disobedience; fear and withdrawal; poor peer, sibling, and social relationships; and low self-esteem. Due to all the violence, they have difficult time to excel in academics in forms of verbal, motor ad cognitive skills. They will suffer from lack of conflict resolution skills, limited problem solving skills, pro-violence attitudes, and belief in rigid gender stereotypes. In simple words, the child’s development is disrupted, and will not able to function as a normal human being in the future.
Another case which happens in Malaysia is related to emotional abuse to the husband, this man, Ryoma, was emotionally abused by his Malaysian wife by verbal abuse, cheated on him and taking their daughter away from him.
Conclusion, domestic violence against men or husband is a matter that cannot be set aside. It should be treated equally as domestic violence against women is treated in Malaysia. I afraid if this matter is let loose without supervision, it could seriously disrupt the social fabric of Malaysia plus it could affect the future of our children by the exposure of such incidents.