Never have I ever been the person to tear down any of the many walls I’ve put up around myself. Every day of my life I’ve tried to smile and be as optimistic as I possibly can, that’s truely the only thing that gets me through the day. When I think back every time someone has asked me if I was okay, I’ve always replyed with “Yes”. Someone out in the big world we live in has it much worse. When this assignment was first given to me a few big events in my life came to mind and I did infact try to write about every single one of them, unfortunetly after I got the main idea written out I was batteling with myself about how I really felt. It was like I spent so much time trying to forget about it that I had lost touch with how it really even changed me as a person. This essay has helped me to realize that I do need to talk about these things and not keep them bottled up inside. There is one big event in my life that caused me to start putting up these enormous brick walls; my parents divorce.
It was what felt like the coldest day of winter when my mom told me my father would not be attending christmas at our house. The reason I say house, but not home is because at this point my house really wasn’t a home, my father was gone. I glanced over at my sister and she was flooded with tears, and ran to her room. As I was watching her leave my mind slipped into a trance, I began to remember all the fights between the two adults I loved the most. At only eight I knew they were calling it quits, my life was never the same. The foundation to my walls began, I didn’t tell anyone about what was going on with my parents and to this day haven’t talked about it with anyone.
Three very long years later the next big event of my life happened, I started to get sick. Out of everything I’ve ever known death has scared me the most, knowing that someone you love and care about could be instantly taken away from you is a thought to much for me to handle. The summer of grade 5 was drawing near and I was definetly not feeling the same way all the other kids did. I was hospitilzed for 6 days with pneumonia, unable to leave my room, connected to an I.V. and under constant watch. Another layer of a wall was built; when people would ask me if I needed anything I would simply shake my head.
Entering grade seven was one of the best years of my life, I had known all of my peers since kindergarten. Growing closer to several of my friends I began to tell them little bits about things that I had kept to myself and I began to feel some of my thinner walls collapsing. Things were really getting better until I found out we were moving to the other side of the city. All the trust I had in the people I began to call my bestfriends would be lost, I would have to start fresh. When I first arrived at Mount Royal I noticed the kids were alot more welcoming, but I still would want to wait long time before I took any more walls down. Suprisingly my mindset was changed when I started to get to know the people, everyone is so open about their lives and I really admire their courage.
Day by day I have been working on bringing those walls down, slowly but surely. Doing this essay helped me to understand that I need to take like and savour every moment of it, because you truely do learn from every second of your life. I’m starting to change my life now.
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